September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so it’s the perfect time to talk about how… well, how to talk about suicide. Knowing what to say and how to start the conversation can feel overwhelming, but we are here to help.
At Pure Health Center, we provide support for those struggling with suicidal thoughts and we know that support starts before someone comes through our door. Support starts at home with loved ones just like you, dear reader, who care enough to notice when their friends and family members are going through a hard time and would like to try to help. If you're concerned about a loved one and fear they may be suicidal, it's important to understand the signs and know how to approach them with compassion and empathy. We’ve written this blog to help you get started.
Before initiating a conversation about suicide, it’s crucial to understand the different types of suicidal thoughts someone might be experiencing. Not all suicidal thoughts are the same, and recognizing the difference can help you respond appropriately.
Passive suicidal thoughts are thoughts of death or suicide without a specific plan. Someone might say, “I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.” These thoughts, though not immediately life-threatening, are serious and indicate deep emotional pain.
Imminent suicidal thoughts, on the other hand, involve a clear plan to end one’s life. A person may express having the means and intention to follow through. For example, they might say, “I should just take these pills tonight so I don’t have to face tomorrow.” This scenario is an emergency, requiring immediate professional intervention.
Understanding this distinction can help you gauge the urgency of the situation and how best to support your loved one.
A key element in suicide prevention is awareness. But we know that it’s not always easy to tell when someone is contemplating suicide, especially if they’re trying to hide their pain. While no list is definitive and no two people are the same, there are some things that can help you recognize when it’s time to start a conversation about suicide.
If you notice that someone you love is doing two or more of these things, it may be a warning sign of distress or elevated suicide risk:
If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to reach out and start a conversation.
It can be difficult to know how to broach the topic of suicide with someone you care about. Here are some approaches:
Bringing up the topic of suicide with a loved one can feel uncomfortable, but it’s essential to approach it with honesty and care. If it helps, use tools like this video from WHO to start the conversion.
The goal is to create a safe space for them to express their feelings. If none of the above approaches feel just right, consider creating a script or conversation plan that blends them.
Here are some ways to start the conversation:
These questions are direct but compassionate, giving the person permission to speak openly. It’s important to listen without judgment, acknowledging their feelings without trying to immediately fix the problem. Simply being there for them can be incredibly powerful. It’s okay to practice what you want to say and prepare ahead of time so that you can be in the moment with your loved one and be ready to support them through the conversation too.
So, what happens after the conversation?
If your loved one shares that they are considering suicide, it’s crucial to remain calm and supportive. Express gratitude that they trusted you enough to share their thoughts and let them know you are there for them.
You might say something like:
Encourage them to seek professional help. If you’re in Chicago, you might suggest reaching out to Pure Health Center for counseling for suicidal thoughts in Chicago. We have therapists who are specially trained to pick up the baton and offer the next stage of support.
If the situation is urgent, do not leave them alone. Call a suicide hotline or take them to an emergency room to ensure they receive immediate care. You can have them call or text 988 at any time during the day.
Knowing what to say, how to say it, or what’s expected of you can be a huge barrier to starting conversations about suicide. If your loved one shares that they're considering suicide, use these steps as a guide to support yourself through the conversation.
The conversation about suicide doesn’t end with one discussion. Keeping the lines of communication open is essential for ongoing support. Regular check-ins, whether in person or through a simple text, can help your loved one feel valued and cared for.
You can also contribute to broader suicide awareness by talking about it on social media. Share resources, articles, and information during National Suicide Prevention Month and beyond. From walking the walk (like we did last year!) to talking the talk, there is a way for everyone to start conversations around suicide prevention. Every share helps to reduce the stigma around mental health issues and encourages others to speak up.
Your presence and support are invaluable. Your love and understanding can make a world of difference. Remember, sometimes the simplest acts of kindness, like listening without judgment or offering a comforting presence, can have a profound impact.
It's also essential to take care of yourself. Burnout is a real risk when caring for someone else. Make sure to prioritize your own well-being. If you ever feel overwhelmed or need guidance, there are many resources available starting right here on our site.
You're not alone in this, and there are people who want to help you. If you’d like support for yourself or your loved one, Pure Health Center is here to help. Across Chicago and online in Illinois, we are here for you. Get in touch today to book an appointment.
