Why September Feels Heavy - Fall Stress and Overcommitment
September’s here, and if you’re feeling stressed out, not sleeping as well, preoccupied with your commitments, and maybe even feeling like you’re falling behind and need to rush to catch up, you’re not alone. But what gives? Why do so many of us end up more stressed in September, and what can we do about it?
Why does September feel so stressful?
Sudden change means stress.
This sudden stress many people feel in September is sometimes called the “September Scaries,” just like the Sunday scaries.
Summer is, for a lot of people, a more relaxed time. More daylight, fewer school commitments, work slows down a little as people go on vacation. So when September shows up, with huge changes all of a sudden, it can bring with it a sudden change in mood.
September usually arrives with:
- Juggling new schedules for you, your partner, your kids, your parents
- Work ramping up before the fall holidays
- Planning for those same holidays
- End-of-year doctor and dentist appointments (I just got a text from my dentist to schedule a cleaning while writing this article!).
- Plus shorter days and changing weather!
All of a sudden, you have to cope with a lot of change. Even when it’s change you’re looking forward to, a lot of change at once spells stress for even the most put-together of us.
September means extra pressure to say yes to commitments
With all of this change at work and at school, plus anticipating the holidays in a few months, you’re probably being asked to say “yes” to a lot of commitments right now too.
You may have a chance for long-awaited work promotions and projects that will further your career, or an exciting new sport or extracurricular activity for your child. Your parents may need support getting to and from appointments, or need more checking on during the week. You may be saying yes to hand-making a Pinterest-ready Halloween costume, or planning the family gatherings for your favorite fall or winter holiday.
These commitments may be things you really want! Or they may feel like necessities you have to say yes to. Either way, they’re packing your schedule this September; it’s a lot, and it adds to the stress of the month.
What can you do about the stress of September?
If you’re already feeling stressed this September, we hear you. We also have some helpful strategies you can use to manage overcommitment, to help make September a little less scary this year.
Give yourself a voice about your seasonal stress
It’s all too easy to bottle up your stress, put on a (fake) happy face, and pretend things are fine. But if you let stress grow, it can come out as:
- Insomnia
- Restlessness
- Irritability and mood swings
- Feeling joyless
- Aches, pains, and digestive issues
- Getting sick more easily
Finding a way to get your stressed thoughts out can be an important release valve during the September Scaries. Journaling, talking to friends or family, or working with a trusted therapist in Chicago (or all three!) can be a helpful way to feel heard and seen while you’re stressing.
Being heard and letting out how you feel instead of launching right into problem-solving can help clear your head enough to empower you to take steps to change things. It’s like opening up and finding validation is Step 1 in the process of changing your life.
By opening up, you can feel less alone. It can help just to hear about how others are feeling the strain just like you, and you’ll create a connection that helps you feel supported, even if it's just from hearing you out.
Setting boundaries around your time eases stress
Creating set times where you handle obligations and set times for leisure can help make overcommitment easier to handle. Consider boundaries like:
- Pick a time where you turn off work notifications, and stick to it.
- Schedule specific times where you can help your parents or children, and ask others to step in and take the lead outside of those times.
- Set aside time to spend with friends or family, or solo time to pursue hobbies (or even just silence, which can be golden when you’re busy!)
Even having set bedtimes can help reduce your stress; more sleep means increasing your ability to cope with both a packed schedule and the changes that show up all at once in September.
Slow down on saying “yes” to reduce overcommitment
Boundaries help for things you’ve already said yes to, but slowing down on saying “yes” is a helpful addition to reducing September stress. When you’re asked to commit to something, ask for time to think it over. Take an hour, a day, whatever time you need, to consider the commitment.
With extra time, you can consider your existing commitments as well as your values and your priorities. You can decide on your own timeline, instead of fitting someone else’s expectations of an immediate answer. If you’re worth asking, you’re worth a little extra time to make a confident, thoughtful decision!
Delegate what you can
Asking for help and collaborating with others can make the September Scaries a little less heavy. Can you figure out a carpool situation for your kids? What about help with household chores, like meal delivery, a laundry service, or cleaners?
Think of who you can ask to take something off your plate, like friends, neighbors, siblings, or parents, to help you when you’ve overcommitted yourself. If you can say yes to being a major player in a lot of people’s lives, you can also give other people an opportunity to say yes to you.
Try some self-compassion
We know asking for help and saying “no” is easier said than done. For people-pleasers, the hyperindependent, and people who tie their self-worth to productivity, it’s hard to accept help, and setting boundaries can feel all wrong.
When you’re stressed about seeking support, sometimes it helps to remember you’re human, just like everyone else. It’s very normal to have support from other people in your day-to-day life!
Try reframing your situation as if a friend was in your shoes. Would you think less of them for setting limits on their time and asking for help? Think of all the people you do things for; do you think less of them for accepting your support? Of course not. You’re not an exception to the rule that people deserve to be supported.
Welcome the joy in
When it comes to stress management, conversation helps, boundaries help, reframing your sense of self helps, but it’s worth trying to invite some joy into your life too. Something as simple as a gratitude practice, savoring a small happy moment, or giving yourself something to look forward to can help you expand your mindset outside the burdens of stress and overcommitment, giving you a fuller picture.
This isn’t saying you need to grin and bear it! Think of it as an “and” statement, like these:
- You’re tired of long work days, and you are really enjoying this cup of coffee.
- You’re looking forward to decorating for Halloween, and you’re worn out from carting the kids around today.
- You’re dreading the family Thanksgiving, and you’re ready to create new traditions that center around the family you have built for yourself.
Does September feel particularly heavy this year? Therapy for stress management in Chicago is here for you
You don’t have to handle the September Scaries on your own. One of our compassionate therapists at Pure Health Center can help you find validation, put a name to what you’re going through, and learn how to tackle stress and overcommitment head-on.
We welcome you to connect with us today to get started! Therapy at Pure Health Center in Chicago is a space to learn practical coping tools you need to be more at peace with the hustle and bustle of September, helping you walk away from perfectionism and people-pleasing, and instead entering the last quarter of 2026 feeling like even when you’re stressed, you know what to do.