For many people, the holiday season brings warmth, connection, and celebration. But for some, it can stir up a mix of difficult emotions. Instead of happy, sometimes the holidays are just hard — and we want to help. If you're someone who's grieving, has experienced trauma, or feels the strain of complicated family dynamics, the holidays can feel heavy rather than joyful.
In Chicago, the shorter, colder days can add to these challenges. While the world around you seems to be focused on festivities, you may find yourself struggling with sadness, anxiety, or even loneliness. You’re not alone in feeling this way.
Yes, it is. Grief doesn’t disappear just because the holidays are here. The loss of a loved one, a relationship that’s changed, or even a sense of what used to be can hit harder during this time. The holidays tend to bring back memories, and those memories can make the pain feel fresh again.
Grief is complicated. It doesn’t follow a set timeline, and it often shows up when we least expect it. It’s okay to experience sorrow, even when others seem to be full of cheer.
For many people, the holidays can bring up unresolved trauma. Whether it's old wounds from family conflicts or painful memories that resurface, trauma can make the season feel overwhelming. Being around certain people, or even hearing a familiar song, can trigger those deep emotional responses.
It’s important to recognize these feelings and know that you don’t have to go through it alone. Reaching out for support—whether from loved ones or through therapy—can make a difference in managing these emotional triggers.
If you’re finding this season particularly tough, checking in with yourself can be a helpful first step. Let these questions create a starting point for yourself as you navigate grief or trauma during the holidays:
It’s easy to feel pressured to attend every holiday gathering or take on more than you’re comfortable with. But it’s okay to prioritize your well-being. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle. You have permission to say no to invitations or step back from family gatherings if they feel overwhelming. Putting yourself first is a form of self-care.
Holidays often come with expectations—how they’re "supposed" to be. But there’s freedom in creating new traditions. Maybe that means celebrating with a close friend, volunteering, or spending the day in a way that brings you comfort. New traditions can help ease the pressure and create a holiday that feels more supportive for where you are right now.
Grief and trauma often bring complicated emotions, especially during the holidays. If you need to take a moment to cry, reflect, or step away, allow yourself to do that. Pushing down emotions often makes them stronger. Being gentle with yourself and giving space for how you truly feel can help release some of the emotional burden.
When we’re struggling, isolation can make the pain feel heavier. Leaning on people who care about you can make a difference. Whether that’s a close friend, a support group, or a therapist who understands, having someone to listen can bring relief. In Chicago, there are many therapists who specialize in grief and trauma, offering a safe space to work through what you’re feeling.
Mindfulness practices can help you find small moments of calm. Whether through meditation, journaling, or even just a walk in a quiet place, taking time to be present with yourself can help ease the stress. Grounding yourself in simple, peaceful activities can provide moments of relief during an otherwise stressful time.
If your grief or trauma feels too overwhelming to manage on your own, talking with a therapist can help. Therapy, especially trauma-informed care, offers a compassionate and non-judgmental space to work through your emotions. Here in Chicago, there are many therapists who understand the unique challenges of the holiday season and can support you through it.
Be gentle with yourself
The holiday season can be tough, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel like the happy time others experience. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to honor them. You don’t have to face it alone. Whether through therapy or leaning on your support system, help is available and it can start right here. Visit our website to book your first session with a compassionate therapist. With offices in Arlington Heights, Roscoe Village, the West Loop, and Lincoln Park, plus the availability to meet with your therapist online as well, we offer support right where you need it.
