Coming out can be one of the most pivotal moments in a person's life. It’s a moment where vulnerability, fear, and hope intersect. For LGBTQIA+ individuals, the decision to share their true identity with others can have profound effects on their mental and emotional well-being.
October 11th is National Coming Out Day and we wanted to mark the occasion with a reminder of the bravery it takes to live authentically and how it can change your life. But for many, coming out also means reevaluating their support networks—sometimes losing familiar faces while discovering new ones. Whether you are navigating these waters yourself or supporting someone who is, understanding the ripple effects of coming out can provide a roadmap as you find your way forward.
Though the moniker makes it sound like a one-time thing, coming out is not a single event but a complex emotional journey. It involves navigating a range of feelings—from fear and anxiety to hope and liberation. Often this process begins within, noticing and navigating your own concept of self-acceptance and self-awareness. This usually happens before you begin sharing your vulnerable and honest identity with others. Each time you walk this journey—yep, you’ll probably have to do it more than once—you may feel a whole range of feelings.
For some, coming out brings a sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted. But others may feel sad, stressed or even afraid of what might happen when they come out, especially if they anticipate rejection or misunderstanding. The emotional journey is deeply personal, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel during it.
Understanding how these emotions may ebb and flow can help in managing the highs and lows. It’s okay to feel both joy and grief—what matters is allowing yourself the space to process these emotions, ideally with support from understanding individuals or mental health professionals.
One of the hardest aspects of coming out is the possibility of rejection from loved ones. When family or close friends respond with judgment or distance, it can feel deeply isolating, especially if you once relied on those loved ones for emotional support. The toll this takes on you can be significant, bringing up feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, or depression. Rejection from those you trust can shake your sense of identity and support, leaving you to question your place in the world.
For LGBTQIA+ individuals, the fear of losing important relationships is real, and when rejection happens, it’s an incredibly painful experience that impacts mental and emotional well-being. This potential, or the reality of it, is a huge part of why a meaningful support network is so vital for your well-being.
If you experience rejection, it's important to focus on building resilience and practicing self-care. Surround yourself with supportive people, engage in activities that bring you joy, and seek professional help if needed. Therapy—particularly intersectional therapy for LGBQTIA+ people—can provide a safe and supportive space to process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
On the flip side, acceptance from your support network can be one of the most healing experiences. Knowing that the people in your life love and accept you for who you are brings a sense of relief and peace. When friends, family, or coworkers respond with empathy and openness, it reinforces the value of being honest about your identity. This kind of strong support network can make coming out into a celebration. Finding support can bring a sense of validation and love has profound mental health benefits. Acceptance fosters a sense of belonging, reducing anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. Knowing that people stand by your side through every part of your journey is deeply reassuring, but those people aren’t always the ones you’ve grown up with.
When the support you need and deserve isn’t found in your family of origin, “found family” often becomes a crucial source of emotional strength. Found family—people who accept you fully—can come from anywhere, and their support provides a lifeline for those who face rejection. These connections, whether through friendships, community groups, or supportive colleagues, can heal wounds left by rejection and restore a sense of worth. Research shows that mental health improves when surrounded by people who love you for who you are.
Mental health professionals often emphasize the benefits of acceptance. For LGBTQIA+ individuals, having a supportive network significantly lowers the risk of depression and anxiety. In places like Chicago, where there are numerous resources (starting here, on our blog) to support diverse identities, finding a community that offers professional and emotional support can make the coming out process more manageable.
Whether through therapy, community groups, or personal connections, the support you need is out there. No matter where you are in your coming out journey, always remember that love and acceptance are possible, and they can be found in the most unexpected places.
